Suns Scorch OKC, Blunder 3-29, Excellence Polo $55.

The Phoenix Suns, playing without all-star Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire, easily fended off the Blunder, 110-102. Future ex-Blunder Kevin Durant had 18 points on a poor 5-for-17 shooting performance. On-the-trading-block forward Joe Smith sat out with a 'leg injury'. Cleveland has expressed interest in Smith to strengthen their inside presence and Smith has expressed an interest in getting out of OKC.

Shaq led the Suns with 28 points and 12 rebounds as Six Suns scored in double figures as Phoenix snapped a four-game losing streak. Seems like everyone's losing streaks end against the Blunder. The Wizards snapperd thier eight game skid vs the Blunder two days ago. Earl Watson had zero points in 17 minutes and Chris Wilcox added five fouls to lead the Blunder lowlights. The Blunder raced out to a 10 point lead as they streaked out to their fifth straight loss. The Blunder, losers of 13 of their last 14 games, have a chance to lose their 30th before ushering in the New Year. Coincidentally, 2009 is also known in OKC's vaunted Chinatown as "The year of many, many, many, many more losses." Weird!

Blunder: 3-29 (.094), 17 games out of first.
Playoff outlook: Grim.
Next loss: Wednesday vs Golden State.

Memphis lost to Minnesota in overtime 108-98
Grizz: 10-21. 10.5 games out of first.

Blunder Lose "Worst-Ever" Match Up - Embrace Oblivion

In a battle of the 'worst-ever' records, the Blunder clung valiantly to their losing streak on Saturday night, falling to the Wizards, 104-95. Sporting a combined 7-50 records before the game, Washington snapped their eight-game losing streak while extending OKC's to four. The Blunder, trying to confuse the Wizards by playing in their New York Knick tribute uniforms, have lost 12 of 13 games.

Playing without leading scorer Caron Butler mattered little to the Wizards as Andray Blatche had 19 points and a career-high 15 boards and Antawn Jamison had 29 points to lead Washington to their fifth win. OKC lost for the 28th time. Future ex-Blunder Kevin Durant led the Blunder with 25 points and 11 rebounds in 42 minutes. Another night of 40-plus minutes logged. Robert Swift contributed nothing, literally, as he had zero points, zero rebounds and zero assists in five minutes to lead the Blunder lowlights. Recent acquisition Gonad Krustyac, the $5 million dollar man and future of the franchise, did not play.

Some memorable quotes from the post-mortem:

"Not one guy in this locker room is a loser. Unfortunately, we are not getting wins like we feel like we should." Scott Brooks. Scott, a 3-28 team has plenty of losers.

"We knew they were a good team, way better than their record shows." Jeff Green. Everyone is better than their record shows when they play the Blunder. And you're singling out a five win team for praise. Ouch.

"I was a man possessed to keep the team in Seattle". Clay Bennett. If getting rid of all the team's talent, all the local ties, all former players in the front office, moving the local broadcasts to an unknown station, hiring a PR person from OKC, leaking emails that show intent to move the team from the beginning, and then demanding a $500 million dollar arena be built outside of Seattle were all part of your strategy, I would suggest another one.

This game was so bad that ESPN showed the highlights in black and white as a joke. The Blunder are the first team ever to lose in both color AND in black and white in the same season. Congratulations on another milestone achieved for Bennett's Blunder. The Blunder "Excellence" polo is still selling for $55 on their website. More willful misrepresentation, like calling the Blunder "an NBA team."

Blunder: 3-28, 16.5 games out of first place.
Playoff outlook: Grim.
Wims: few and far between
Next loss: Phoenix on Monday.

UPDATES:
Memphis lost to San Antonio in double overtime to drop to 10-20 on the season. OJ Mayo had 29 points.
Next game: Minnesota on Monday.

New Orleans: 17-9, 1 game out of first place behind San Antonio.
Next game: Indiana on Sunday.

IT'S A BLUNDERFUL LIFE: OKC 3-27

Amid economic uncertainty and the murky future of Ford/GM/Chrysler, the Blunder remained 'ole reliable', ushering in their 27th loss, 90-88 to the Detroit Pistons on Friday night. In these troubling times, it's comforting to see something constant. That something, is another Blunder loss. I wonder if Clay Bennett asked for 27 losses before the New Year as his Christmas gift.

Losses. The gift that keeps on giving.

Giving other teams a shot at the playoffs. Giving embittered and displaced Seattle Sonic fans a good chuckle at the bumbling ineptness that is Bennett's Blunder. Giving the Blunder a shot at the season-loss record. Giving Kevin Durant a reason to leave ASAP. 'Tis the season for giving.

Future ex-Blunder Kevin Durant led OKC, as always, with 26 points and eight boards while logging 41 minutes. Another heavy-minutes night for the talented, lanky forward. Russell Westbrook logged an impressive five turnovers in 33 minutes, Kyle Weaver had two points and Robert Swift and Joe Smith contributed three fouls apiece to lead the Blunder low-lights.

Highly-anticipated acquisition Gonad Krustyac, whom the Blunder expect to carry them to then promised land, simply did not play. According to sources he was having problems with the language barrier; mostly the terms 27 losses, corndogs-as-payment, and Bricktown were the most troubling. Losing streak was quickly defined for him; the Blunder currently enjoy a three-game skid and have lost 11 of 12.

Allan Iverson led five Detroit players in double-digit scoring with 22 points and sank the game-winner with eight seconds left.

Blunder: 3-27 (.111%).
Playoff outlook: need a Christmas miracle.
Next loss: Saturday vs. Wizards.

Potential relocation franchises update;

Memphis: came from 17 down to defeat Indiana: 108-105.
Hakim Warrick led seven Grizzlies in double-figure scoring with 21 points. OJ Mayo had 18 points, eight boards and seven assists.
Record: 10-19 - last place.
Next game: Saturday vs San Antonio.

New Orleans: Defeated Houston 88-79. They're tied for first place.
Chris Paul had 26 points, David West added 23, and Tyson Chandler had a double-double with 14 points and 12 boards in 31 minutes.
Record: 17-9.
Next game: Sunday vs Indiana.

Seven Sports Things I am Not Thankful for This Season

Time to spread some Holiday cheer - so let's cheer for stupidity because that's always fun. Here's my starter kit, feel free to add your reasons in the comments section. And vote!

1. No NBA in Seattle. As much as I am glad to be rid of Clay Bennett and his ilk, I miss the Sonics. They were easily the most dependable Seattle team and my only interest in the NBA was through them.

2. The elimination of the five-yard face mask penalty. A stupid move that basically eliminates the 'punishment should fit the crime' mentality. A rule change that was in no way needed or warranted. An accidental brush with a facemask is now a personal foul? These kinds of rule changes are simply painful in their inherent stupidity. Games hinge on these calls. An additional 10 yards can mean the difference between a field goal and a win or a loss. With games on the line and jobs at stake, the NFL has to exercise common sense and rescind this asinine rule change.

3. BCS games this year. Particularly Ohio State in a BCS game. I am sick of the Buckeyes in BCS Bowl games simply because they have a fan base that'll buy tickets. Year in and year out they prove mediocrity and chokability trumps quality. Florida/Oklahoma is a dream match up and could be one of the greatest games played in years. Texas should be playing Alabama and let Ohio State play Utah. Virginia Tech vs Cincinnati? Seriously? Is anyone gonna bother with this one? Where's Texas Tech or Oklahoma State? They get trumped for Tech vs. Cincy? That makes sense? No.

4. Female sideline reporters who bum-rush coaches at halftime with mind-numbing, nonsense questions. Never have they ever asked a poignant question. The "How do you feel" and "What's it gonna take" questions are forced, obtuse and embarrasing. Making an already stressed coach answer arcane questions to satisfy tv contractual obligations is idiotic. Georgia coach Mark Richt gave one 'reporter' a sarcastic beat-down and it was my favorite play of the year. Stopping coaches to ask softball questions while simutaneously preventing them from getting their job done is just plain moronic. What are they expecting, the coach to reveal some inside strategy to 10 million viewers and the opposing team will be none-the-wiser? No. There's never been any relevent info revealed during these staged ambushes. Let 'em get to the locker room. Enough puff reporting and pink frilly hats. Save it for the Ice Capades.

5. FOX football broadcasts. Replete with distracting gadgetry and endless commercial breaks, FOX has forgotton the actual game is what is important. Those obnoxious robots and too-much-information crawlers...not necessary. Focus on the game not the distractions or Terry's hairline. And just how many commercials can you cram into a game? FOX cuts away every chance it gets. It's obnoxious.

6. The TV timeout. So annoying. Especially that irritating "More Taste League" crap. That's really the best they could come up with? In the age of microbrews, the lightest beer on the market claims to have 'more taste'? More taste than what? Water? Give me a frothy cup of yellow snow over that beer and stupid ad campaign any day.

7. The collapse of football in the state of Washington. I have not seen the fall of anything this fast or this complete since Berlin. UW has a hole, er, crater, to dig out of, WSU needs a hug and the Seahawks are fast tracking to mediocrity for the forseeable future. The philosophical rift between Ruskell and Holmgren has reduced this team to a directionless ship. Injuries have not helped. The fact that Matt Hasselbeck has been injured for better part of two seasons, and the stunning lack of coverage about it in the Seattle press, is perplexing. Isn't anyone concerned? This is the number one story no one is covering; the franchise quarterback's status.

Others receiving votes; Alaska Airlines, OKC's three wims, anything regarding the WNBA, Kevin Costner in FOR LOVE OF THE GAME, endless fascination with Kobe...

Blunder Play Quarters - Embrace 'First-To-25 Losses' Title!

No confetti fell in the Congressional Bailout Center on Sunday, only the Blunder who 'lost by only 11', and became the first NBA team to reach the coveted quarter-century mark in losses this season. I use the term "NBA team" loosely.

LeBron James had 31 points and seven boards to lead the Cavaliers over the Blunder on Sunday, 102-91. Cleveland led by as many as 18 points en route to their best start in franchise history, at 23-4. Not to be out-done, the Blunder improved to a franchise worst-ever record of 3-25. As always, future ex-Blunder Kevin Durant led OKC with 26 points in 43 hard minutes. Local legend Desmond Mason was 0-2 from the line and 1-5 from the field in 32 minutes, while Chris Wilcox had zero points in seven minutes and Joe Smith had four fouls to lead the Blunder low lights.

James also acknowledged he'd consider signing an extension with the Cavaliers. Much speculation has him bolting for MSG and New York dollars at his first chance. He had no comment on the Blunder's Knick tribute uniforms. The Seattle SuperSonics beat the Cavs the last four times they met in Seattle. Doesn't look like that'll be the case in OKC, unless the Cav's bus gets lost in the tumbleweeds on the way to the Congressional Bailout Center.

Blunder: 3-25, Last place.
Next loss: Tuesday vs Atlanta.
Willful misrepresentation update: Blunder "excellence" polos are still $55 dollars. Apparently there's no discount for 'total lack of excellence'. Interesting.

Memphis update: record: 9-17.
Next game: L.A. Lakers Monday night.
Team leaders: O.J. Mayo leads the Grizzlies in scoring at 20.3 ppg and Rudy Gay is averaging 20.2 ppg. Marc Gasol leads the team with 6.8 rpg.
Mystery: What ever happened to the much-hyped Darko Milicic?

New Orleans Hornets: 16-7 - first place.
Next Game: LA Lakers on Tuesday.
Chris Paul leads the Hornets with 20.3 ppg and 11.8 apg. Tyson Chandler averages 8.1 rpg.

Blunder Continue Title Run; Add Krstic

The title for worst record in the NBA, of course.

"It felt like we won a championship," forward Desmond Mason said after Friday nights victory.

Which, of course, they didn't. The Blunder held off Toronto 91-83 to snap an eight game skid on Friday night in OKC.

With orange and blue streamers falling from the rafters and the crowd standing to cheer, it could've easily been mistaken for a much more significant victory.

It wasn't. 27 games into the season and the Blunder won for only the third time and have that championship feeling. Way to lower the bar, Clay. Future ex Blunder Kevin Durant had 24 points and eight rebounds in 43 minutes, another heavy night minutes-wise for KD. Earl Watson had zero points in 17 minutes, Chris Wilcox missed four free-throws in an 18-second span and Nick Collison added five fouls to lead the Blunder low lights. Grievance counselors consoled the shell-shocked Raptors as they watched the Blunder celebrate at their expense.

Bennett's Low-Budget Blunder continued their title run by signing NBA cast-off Gonad, er, Nenad Krstic to a three-year $15 million dollar deal. In late July, Krstic left the NBA for Triumph Moscow and now he is on the verge of returning to the NBA. Let's hope he hasn't gotten used to the word "triumph". At 7 feet and 240 pounds, he is exactly what the Blunder need in the post...if he can stay healthy. He's coming off torn ACL injury that cost him his job on the Nets. His biggest asset is that he comes cheap for Bennett's Budget Blunder and after playing in Moscow, perhaps he wn't be horrified at playing in OKC.

Blunder: 3-24
Standings: Last
Next Loss: Cleveland.
Win streak: Yeah, right.

Memphis update: Lost to Charlotte on Friday 112-83. Rudy Gay led the Grizzlies with 17 points. Memphis fell to 9-17 on the season - last place. Next game: Clippers on Tuesday

New Orleans update: Defeated San Antonio on Wednesday, 90-83. They're 15-7 and tied with Houston for first place. They host Sacrmento (7-20) Saturday night.

The Number 24...

Divided by two equals 12, and 12 is a much easier list to make. C'mon, did you really think I'd play that number card twice? Speaking of twice, the Blunder have only won twice this season. The Clippers enjoyed some Blunder, er, Southern hospitality, leaving OKC with a 98-88 win on Tuesday night. Los Angeles improved to 7-17 while watching, in awe no doubt, as the Blunder raced out to 2-24.

Editor's note: '2-24' is not a typo.

Future ex-Blunder Kevin Durant led OKC, as always, with 25 points on 9-18 shooting while logging 41 minutes. I don't like Durant, a smaller framed player, logging heavy minutes night after night. I'm concerned they are going to run him into the ground or into an injury. Take it down a little, to around 35-38 minutes. Here's a random list of twelve. If you see a pattern in it, that's because you're insane. There is no pattern.

LIST OF 12

1. Cities without an NBA team from last season. One. Seattle.
2. Blunder wins, Duh.
3. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: 3. Great Movie. It is also the Blunder motto.
4. Fouls by Jeff Green along with 13 points on 6-15 shooting in 29 minutes.
5. Rebounds by Durant, along with 25 points in 41 minutes.
6. Dr J. The man never had to face the horror of seeing a "Thunder" jersey lined up across from him. He is a lucky man.
7. Seven letters in Corn Dog. You know you want one.
8. Eight game losing streak.
9. January 9th. A Blunder loss to Houston to look forward to.
10. I think my point was made on #3, frankly.
11.
12.


Blunder 2-24. Last place. 15.5 games out.
Next Loss: Friday vs. Toronto


Memphis Update: Lost to New Orleans 91-84 to fall to 9-16. Rudy Gay had 30. They have won four of their last five and are in last place, 7 games out.