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Monday, December 22, 2008

Seven Sports Things I am Not Thankful for This Season

Time to spread some Holiday cheer - so let's cheer for stupidity because that's always fun. Here's my starter kit, feel free to add your reasons in the comments section. And vote!

1. No NBA in Seattle. As much as I am glad to be rid of Clay Bennett and his ilk, I miss the Sonics. They were easily the most dependable Seattle team and my only interest in the NBA was through them.

2. The elimination of the five-yard face mask penalty. A stupid move that basically eliminates the 'punishment should fit the crime' mentality. A rule change that was in no way needed or warranted. An accidental brush with a facemask is now a personal foul? These kinds of rule changes are simply painful in their inherent stupidity. Games hinge on these calls. An additional 10 yards can mean the difference between a field goal and a win or a loss. With games on the line and jobs at stake, the NFL has to exercise common sense and rescind this asinine rule change.

3. BCS games this year. Particularly Ohio State in a BCS game. I am sick of the Buckeyes in BCS Bowl games simply because they have a fan base that'll buy tickets. Year in and year out they prove mediocrity and chokability trumps quality. Florida/Oklahoma is a dream match up and could be one of the greatest games played in years. Texas should be playing Alabama and let Ohio State play Utah. Virginia Tech vs Cincinnati? Seriously? Is anyone gonna bother with this one? Where's Texas Tech or Oklahoma State? They get trumped for Tech vs. Cincy? That makes sense? No.

4. Female sideline reporters who bum-rush coaches at halftime with mind-numbing, nonsense questions. Never have they ever asked a poignant question. The "How do you feel" and "What's it gonna take" questions are forced, obtuse and embarrasing. Making an already stressed coach answer arcane questions to satisfy tv contractual obligations is idiotic. Georgia coach Mark Richt gave one 'reporter' a sarcastic beat-down and it was my favorite play of the year. Stopping coaches to ask softball questions while simutaneously preventing them from getting their job done is just plain moronic. What are they expecting, the coach to reveal some inside strategy to 10 million viewers and the opposing team will be none-the-wiser? No. There's never been any relevent info revealed during these staged ambushes. Let 'em get to the locker room. Enough puff reporting and pink frilly hats. Save it for the Ice Capades.

5. FOX football broadcasts. Replete with distracting gadgetry and endless commercial breaks, FOX has forgotton the actual game is what is important. Those obnoxious robots and too-much-information crawlers...not necessary. Focus on the game not the distractions or Terry's hairline. And just how many commercials can you cram into a game? FOX cuts away every chance it gets. It's obnoxious.

6. The TV timeout. So annoying. Especially that irritating "More Taste League" crap. That's really the best they could come up with? In the age of microbrews, the lightest beer on the market claims to have 'more taste'? More taste than what? Water? Give me a frothy cup of yellow snow over that beer and stupid ad campaign any day.

7. The collapse of football in the state of Washington. I have not seen the fall of anything this fast or this complete since Berlin. UW has a hole, er, crater, to dig out of, WSU needs a hug and the Seahawks are fast tracking to mediocrity for the forseeable future. The philosophical rift between Ruskell and Holmgren has reduced this team to a directionless ship. Injuries have not helped. The fact that Matt Hasselbeck has been injured for better part of two seasons, and the stunning lack of coverage about it in the Seattle press, is perplexing. Isn't anyone concerned? This is the number one story no one is covering; the franchise quarterback's status.

Others receiving votes; Alaska Airlines, OKC's three wims, anything regarding the WNBA, Kevin Costner in FOR LOVE OF THE GAME, endless fascination with Kobe...


Anonymous said...

Washington football has taken a tremendous nose dive. When the apple cup is all about who doesn't suck more you've got some sad football happening. Ahh for the days of Don James and Mike Price. Ahh for the days of GP and the Rainman. Good part about Seattle sports being in such a sorry piss of a state, it can't possibly get any worse. Next year's lookin' good!... comparatively speaking, of course.

Anonymous said...

Pink frilly hats...hilarious. I've never understood what that was about - there's already hot chicks on the sidelines - they're called CHEERLEADERS. Send the rest to cover the wnba or lindsey lohans latest meltdown.

Anonymous said...

I love this...too funny. Gotta go with no Sonics as #1. Football sucking is close second and your right, those bowl games are weak.
Let's see what Sark can do with the UW program. As for Wazzu...who cares?

MBolton said...

I just wanted to say thank you very much for this blog. As a former diehard NBA and Sonics fan, I can take some comfort in the fact that I am not suffering alone.

Keep doing what you're doing and have a great holiday season!

auroraave said...

Thank you, MBolton - I appreciate the kind words. I am definitely thankful that people are enjoying this blog - hopefully as much as I have enjoyed entertaining everyone with it. I will be expanding it and have a some cool new surprises upcoming. Let's give thanks for a Stern and Bennett-free Christmas!

Anonymous said...

anything that makes fun of the Bennetts/Clampetts of OKC, is "OK" with me. Hey now.